Becca's+WWII+Narrative+Essay

Road to Nowhere It was a gloomy, starless summer night. I was being dragged to the burning oven that I had used so many times before to fulfill my duties. Instantly, I wondered if everything I did was worth it, but I stopped that thought because I knew what I did was right. An unfamiliar man removed my shirt and began to push me toward the burning embers. Suddenly, the image of my family flashed before my eyes. I came to the realization that this was wrong. My family needed me. I pushed my executioner into the oven, took his gun, and began to make my great escape. I fled to the tunnel that I had used so many times before to free the prisoners, and knew that there were better things to come...

The day I was appointed as an executioner at Auschwitz was the saddest day of my life. I disagreed with the Nazis, and I liked the Jews. I even had a few Jewish friends. I’m sure they wouldn’t approve of my new vocation. My family was desperate for money, and taking this job would be of great alleviation to them. Words can’t begin to describe how much I was going to miss them, but my heart told me this was right.

I woke up in the morning of that cold winter day. I was ordered to get on a train to Auschwitz to prepare. There, I learned how to treat the prisoners and countless ways to execute them. I can’t even imagine how painful these executions must be, and the idea of actually experiencing them chills me to the bone. A massive muscular man named Viktor Bachmeier, who will eventually be my commander, led these sessions. He is one of the most cold-hearted men I had ever met. Just the sight of him intimidates me, and i would not want to be on his bad side. If training was as heartbreaking as it was, I don’t want to know how bad the next few months are going to be.

When the first shipment of prisoners arrived, I was overwhelmed by the great number of innocent people who emerged from each cattle car. I had no idea so many people could fit in one cattle car. The ride must have been excruciating. People most likely had no room to breathe, or even move a muscle. A feeling of pity was building up inside me. Killing these helpless people was going to be nearly impossible, so I attempted to get in the proper mindset. I would strive to view killing them as putting them out of their misery, similar to killing a fly with a broken wing. Watching them enter became toilsome, so I decided to go to bed.

I was awakened early the next morning by Viktor. His piercing voice shouted, “ Christain, get your fat behind out of bed and report to the crematorium!”

I said, “Yes sir!” and got dressed. By the time I was outside, Jews were lined up outside the oven, awaiting their awful fate. I couldn’t believe what I saw that dreadful day, but my job was to execute them. I will never forget the first man I murdered. I looked directly into his deep blue, sorrowful eyes, which reflected the flames of the oven. He gave me a longing look, which made me feel terrible about cutting his life short. I wondered if he had a family, and I pictured how my family would have reacted if I was killed. Hesitantly, I grabbed his arm, and he made a heart-wrenching weeping sound. As he was tossed into the oven, the expression on his dirt and soot covered face was unforgettable. At that moment, I realized how terrible of a person I was. I killed 300 people that day.

As I got dressed to go to bed, I reminded myself that I was doing this for my family. I laid in my bed and fell asleep. The dream I had that night was life-scarring. The man’s face flashed by countless times. Again, I pictured his family, and how they would have reacted. I woke with a start. It was still dark outside and it couldn’t have been past 3 A.M. I fell back asleep. The next dream I had was much worse than the first. I saw myself being pushed into the oven by all the men I had killed. They cheered as I moved closer to the open flames. While stumbling closer, the burning embers transformed into the fires of hell. As I crept closer to the flames, I awakened. I needed to do something because the guilt was taking over. I took a hike to find an escape route to save people rather than kill them. If I got caught, I would be sentenced to death, but the risk was worth it.

I found a tunnel that looked promising. It led out of the camp, and was not monitored. The next day, I would test it. I went back to my room and laid awake until morning.

Viktor came to my room and yelled, "Fuhrman, get to the gas chamber!" without hesitation, I left. The escape route I found was located behind the gas chamber, so my assignment that day was very convenient. I told the prisoners, "This is a shower. You are to remove your clothes and step in. You have 10 minutes." The happiness on their gaunt faces killed me inside. As I turned on the gas, the piercing screams and ghastly moans were all I could hear. After a few minutes, I dared to open the door. Hundreds laid dead on the floor. I felt extremely sorrowful as I watched the cadavers get bulldozed away.

At nightfall, I took about 20 Jews to my secret escape. "This leads out of camp. I'll let you use it if you want to survive. Tell other prisoners about it. I won't kill you if you don’t use this for yourselves. Help other people. Don’t be selfish. I'm doing you a favor." I could tell by the looks on their faces that they didn’t believe me, so I went through it and brought them with me. Once we got back to camp, each prisoner was smiling from ear to ear. One of them said in a heavy accent, " I can not thank you enough." With that, he kneeled down in front of me and kissed my hand. I ordered them to go to bed, and for the first time in a while, I was proud of myself.

Over the next few months, I told a total of 80 Jews about my escape route. I do not know how many lives I've spared, but I know there is less than I have killed. I estimated that I had killed around 500 prisoners each day.

Spring was on the horizon when the turning point of my journey occurred. My shift at the gas chamber was almost over, and I was telling more people about my discovery. A burly executioner whom I did not recognize came to take over. He overheard my conversation with the prisoners. Instantaneously, I grabbed his collar and pinned him against the wall. With my gun pointed at his head, I said, "Don’t tell anyone. If anyone finds out, you're dead." He was reluctant, but agreed. I threw him on the ground and ran away.

After that day, Viktor had been watching me like a hawk. I had not been able to spread the news to any of the Jews. Next time I saw the man I had intended on confronting him about telling Viktor. The only complication with my plan was that since that day, I hadn't seen him. If Viktor got proof that I had betrayed him, I would be killed. It was still worth the risk.

In the months after that, I did my job and broke no rules. I had murdered thousands of innocent people. I brought myself to accept the fact that I was a killer. I hated the idea, but it is what it is. Viktor's supervision was beginning to become less consistent. I had determined that I could continue to set them free. The grateful look on their grimy, skeleton-like faces when they left the camp was priceless. Rather than just telling people, I chose to personally escort them out of camp. This worked fine for about two weeks. Little did I know, the tunnel was modified to be under constant surveillance.

About a month later, I went to my usual shift at the gas chamber. As I filled it, I saw a man followed by five Nazis approaching. Once they were close enough for me to see their faces, I could tell that it was Viktor Bachmeier and five Nazis. The man who exposed my secret was being carried by a Nazi. I didn’t want to believe I was busted, but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew I wouldn’t live to see my wife, Effi, and children, Kristen and Fabian again. My life was heading down a road to nowhere.

Viktor screamed something unintelligible. I said, "Pardon?"

He shouted, "You are under arrest and must die."

I'd never given much thought to how I would die. I suppose I deserved the punishment allotted, not because of the people I'd saved, but because of those I'd killed. I was okay with dying because I'm a killer, but I wished I could see my family one more time. I needed to tell them I loved them. I was not going to die that night. I was determined to find a way to escape.

…After I was out camp, I ran directly toward the train station, not the one at Auschwitz, but the one nearest to it. I got on a train back to my home. Once the train stopped, I hopped off and ran toward my house. I ran and ran for what seemed like hours. The excitement was overwhelming. It became slightly less exciting when I reminded myself of my plans. I didn’t deserve to live anymore.

As I continue running, I see the familiar houses on my street. When I get near my house, I see Effi on the porch. I run as fast as I can and embrace her for what seemed like only seconds. I wish I could hold her forever. When she let go, tears come to her beautiful blue eyes. She touches my face as if to see if I'm really here. She said, "Kristen, Fabian, I have a surprise for you!" I heard quick little footsteps as they ran through the house. The first thing I thought when I saw them was that they have gotten so big. Kristen, my little girl, who is currently twelve years old, has grown at least six inches since I've seen her last. Her face looks older, and more mature. Her long, wavy blonde hair is tied back in a baby blue bow that compliments her bright blue eyes. Now she looks more like a young women than the little girl whom I remember so well. Fabian, who is six years old, also grew a substantial amount. His usually longer blonde hair is cropped close to his head. His big blue eyes are the same as I remember them. They were standing in the door, with jaws dropped in shock. They ran to me and gave me a big bear hug that I missed so much.

This reunion is going to make what I'm about to do very difficult. I spend the whole day with my family, like old times. Once it was the children's bedtime, I kissed them goodnight and went to talk to Effi for the last time. I tell her about everything I experienced over the past few months. I then say, " I love you so much, but I have to go." She sits on the chair, frozen in shock and disbelief. I feel terrible, but I don't deserve to love someone like her. I run out the door as fast as I can.

I run down the road to the forest where me and my children used to go. I sit behind a large tree that does a good job of hiding me from my wife if she chooses to chase me. I pull a piece of paper out of my pocket and write this note. "Dear whoever finds this, My name is Christain Fuhrman. I have a wife and two wonderful children. About eight months ago, I was appointed as an executioner at Auschwitz concentration camp. I killed thousands of Jews, Poles, Gypsies, and handicapped people. The events that take place at this camp are unforgivable. Anyone who disagrees with this statement is a cold, heartless person. Not only did I kill prisoners, I also set many free. Because someone discovered that I was helping these people, I was punished by death. Miraculously, I escaped my execution to see my family one last time. The guilt from killing all those people was too much to handle. I could not live with myself. Whoever finds this, please tell my family I loved them. I didn’t want to hurt them. I just don’t deserve to be alive. For this reason, I am about to kill myself. Please tell everyone about the horrible things that happen at Concentration Camps. What the Nazis are doing is unacceptable. Thank you for reading this, whoever you are. I hope your life is better than mine was. Sincerely, Christain Fuhrman"

I place the note by the tree, and grab a vine off the forest floor. I tie one end around a high tree branch. The other end, I tie into a noose and wrap it around my neck. As I take in my last breath, I close my eyes, let go of everything that would make me change my mind, and I jump off the branch. The last thing I saw was my wife following me here to try to stop me. She was too late. = = Bibliography = =

"Auschwitz." //Central Page//. Web. 26 Mar. 2012. .